Quick summary of the gods of Theros

  • Heliod: I am king.
  • Thassa: So done with you, Heliod.
  • Erebos: I hate Heliod. And myself. Mostly myself.
  • Purphoros: Fuck y'all.
  • Nylea: Please do not.
  • Athreos: Yo Erie, I got you some souls, watcha think?
  • Ephara: ...I hope I'm adopted.
  • Karametra: *loudly sings along to beyonce*
  • Iroas: HONOURRRRRR!!!
  • Mogis: Hey, brother, I think you misplaced your honour up your ass.
  • Phenax: Hey kids, wanna buy some drugs?
  • Pharika: Or you could just make them yourselves.
  • Keranos: I'll have three drug.
  • Kruphix: All of you are grounded.
  • Xenagos: ...What a fucking mess.